A little old lady goes into the Chase Manhattan Bank, and says
she wants to open a savings account. The accounts person asks her how much
she would like to deposit to open the account and the little old lady
says, “Three million dollars.”
The accounts person is startled, and says, “In what form?” and the little
old lady says, “Cash. I’ve got it here in this bag…”
The accounts person looks and, sure enough, the lady has a big grocery bag
just chock full of green stuff in big denominations. This is a highly
unusual event, and the accounts person excuses herself to get the
president of the bank to handle this one. He arrives, and escorts the
little old lady to his office to handle it personally. Once in his office,
he asks the little old lady where she got so much money. She says,
“Gambling.”
“Gambling?,” he says. “What sort of gambling?”
“Oh, I make bets with people on all sorts of things, and I usually win.
For example, I’ve got $100,000 right here that says that by noon tomorrow
your balls will be square, and I’ll even give you 4:1 odds. You got
$25,000 you’d be willing to wager on that?”

The bank president is shocked at this sort of thing coming from a sweet
little old lady, but he didn’t get to be the president of the Chase
Manhattan Bank without knowing something about money. “I suppose I could
come up with enough to cover that sort of wager, but I wouldn’t feel right
taking it from you…there’s no way you can win a bet like that!”
The little old lady just shook the bag, and said, “I know what I’m
doing…and I can afford to lose, though I’m not going to. Is it a bet?”
“Ok, have it your way,” said the president, and they shook hands on it.
“See you at 11:55 tomorrow morning,” said the little old lady, and with
that she left. Next morning at 11:55 the little old lady arrives with a
younger man in a three-piece suit, and is escorted to the bank president’s
office. The president is a nervous wreck, though a happy one. He’d gotten
almost no sleep the night before, waking every few minutes to feel his
balls to check for impending squareness, but nothing happened all night.
He had checked hundreds of times that morning, but still nothing;
perfectly normal. When the little old lady arrived he started to relax,
knowing he had won.

“Come in, please have a seat! Who might this gentleman
be?” said the president.
“He’s my lawyer. For a bet of this size I want to have a witness. Any
objections?”
“No, perfectly understandable,” said the president.
“Well, it’s now noon, and I’m still unchanged, so I guess I win!” he said
happily.
“Not so fast!” said the little old lady. “For a hundred grand I want to
verify things personally! Please drop your pants.”
The bank president is a bit flustered, but agrees that in her position
he’d want proof as well, so he drops his pants. The little old lady goes
over to him and reaches out to feel the organs in question.
“Ok, you win, here’s your $100,000,” says the little old lady, handing
over a bag of bills. As she does so, her lawyer starts banging his head
against the wall and moaning.
“What’s wrong with him?” asks the bank president.
“Oh, he’s just upset. Poor loser if you ask me. You see, I had a bet for
$1,000,000 with him that I would have the President of the Chase Manhattan
Bank by the balls by noon today.”