Actually Taken From Classified Ads In Newspapers:
FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 YEARS OLD.
HATEFUL LITTLE DOG.

FREE PUPPIES: 1/2 COCKER SPANIEL, 1/2 SNEAKY
NEIGHBOR’S DOG

FREE PUPPIES… PART GERMAN SHEPHERD, PART S
TUPID DOG

GERMAN SHEPHERD 85 lbs. NEUTERED. SPEAKS GERMAN.FREE.

FOUND: DIRTY WHITE DOG. LOOKS LIKE A RAT…
BEEN OUT AWHILE. BETTER BE REWARD.

1 MAN, 7 WOMAN HOT TUB — $850/offer

SNOW BLOWER FOR SALE… ONLY USED ON SNOWY DAYS.

COWS, CALVES NEVER BRED… ALSO 1 GAY BULL FOR SALE.

NORDIC TRACK $300 HARDLY USED, CALL CHUBBY

HUMMERS - LARGEST SELECTION EVER - “IF IT’S IN STOCK,
WE HAVE IT!”

GEORGIA PEACHES CALIFORNIA GROWN - 89 cents lb.

NICE PARACHUTE: NEVER OPENED - USED ONCE

TIRED OF WORKING FOR ONLY $9.75 PER HOUR? WE
OFFER PROFIT SHARING AND FLEXIBLE HOURS.
STARTING PAY: $7 — $9 PER HOUR.

EXERCISE EQUIPMENT: QUEEN SIZE MATTRESS &
BOX SPRINGS - $175.

JOINING NUDIST COLONY! MUST SELL WASHER & DRYER $300.

ALZHEIMER’S CENTER PREPARES FOR AN AFFAIR TO
REMEMBER

OPEN HOUSE BODY SHAPERS TONING SALON FREE
COFFEE & DONUTS

(AND THE BEST ONE)
FOR SALE BY OWNER Complete set of Encyclopedia
Britannica. 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000.00
or best offer. No longer needed. Got married
last weekend. Wife knows everything.