This couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband,
although very much in love, couldn’t wait to go into town, tease the
barmaids and party with his old buddies, so he said to his new wife,
“Honey, I’ll be right back…”
“Where are you going coochy cooh…?” asked the wife.
“I’m going to the bar, pretty face. I’m going to have a beer.
The wife said to him, “You want a beer my love?” Then she opened the door
to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer - brands
from 12 different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, India, etc.
The husband didn’t know what to do. The only thing that he could think of
saying was, “Yes, loolie loolie… but the bar…. you know… the frozen glass…”
He didn’t get to finish the sentence when the wife interrupted him,
saying, “You want a frozen glass puppy face?” She took a huge beer mug out
of the freezer so frozen that she was getting chills holding it.\par
The husband, looking a bit pale, said, “Yes, tootsie roll, but at the bar
they have those hors d’oeuvres that are really delicious…I won’t be
long. I’ll be right back. I promise. OK?”
“You want hors d’oeuvres poochi pooh?” She opened the oven door and took
out 15 dishes of different hors d’oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in a
blanket, mushroom caps, pork strips, etc.
“But sweet honey…at the bar…you know…the swearing, the dirty words and all that…”
“You want some dirty words cutie pie?…here: SIT THE FUCK DOWN! DRINK
YOUR FUCKIN’ BEER IN YOUR FROZEN FUCKIN’ MUG. EAT YOUR FUCKIN’ SNACKS. YOU
AREN’T GOING TO THE FUCKIN’ BAR. GOT IT, ASSHOLE?