John O’Reilly hoisted his beer and said, “Here’s to spending the
rest of me life, Between the legs of me wife!” That won him the top prize
for the best toast of the night! He went home and told his wife, Mary, “I
won the prize for the best toast of the night.” She said, “Aye, what was
your toast?” John said, “Here’s to spending the rest of me life, Sitting
in church beside me wife.” “Oh that is very nice indeed, John!” Mary said.
The next day, Mary ran into one of John’s toasting buddies on the street
corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, “John won the prize, the
other night, with a toast about you, Mary.” She said, “Aye and I was a bit
surprised myself! You know, he’s only been there twice! Once he fell
asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to get him to
come at all.