SIGNS:

Sign over a gynecologist’s office: “Dr. Jones, at your cervix.”

On a hospital door to the colonoscopy unit:”To expedite your
visit, please back in.”

On a plumber’s truck: “We repair what your husband fixed.”

On the trucks of a plumbing company: “Don’t sleep with a drip.
Call your plumber.”

Pizza shop slogan: “7 days without pizza makes one weak.”
Another pizza shop slogan: “Buy our pizza. We knead the dough.

At a tire shop: “Invite us to your next blowout.”
Door of a plastic surgeon’s office: “Hello. Can we pick your nose?”

At a towing company: “We don’t charge an arm and a leg. We want tows.”

On an electrician’s truck: “Let us remove your shorts.”

In a non-smoking area: “If we see smoke, we will assume you are on
fire and take appropriate action.(*love this one!!)

On a maternity room door: “Push. Push. Push.”

At an optometrist’s office: “If you don’t see what you’re looking
for, you’ve come to the right place.”

On a taxidermist’s window: “We really know our stuff.”

In a podiatrist’s office: “Time wounds all heels.”

On a fence: “Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive.”

At a car dealership: “The best way to get back on your feet
miss a car payment.”

Outside a muffler shop: “No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.”

In a veterinarian’s waiting room: “Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!”
At the electric company: “We would be de-lighted if you pay your
bill. However, if you don’t, you will be.”

In a restaurant window: “Don’t stand there and be hungry. Come on
in and get fed up.”

In the front yard of a funeral home:  “Drive carefully. We’ll wait.”

At a propane filling station: “Tank heaven for little grills.”

And don’t forget the sign at a radiator shop: “Best place in town
to take a leak.”