An office manager was given the task of hiring an
individual to fill a job opening. After sorting through
a stack of resumes he found four people who were equally
qualified. He decided to call the four in and ask them
one question and their answer would determine who would
get the job. The day came and as the four sat around the
conference room table the interviewer asked “What is the
fastest thing you know of?” pointing to the man on his
right.

The first man replied “A thought. It pops into your head.
There’s no forewarning that it’s on the way, it’s just
there. A thought is the fastest thing I know of.”
“That’s very good!” replied the interviewer.

“And now you sir?” He asked the second man.
“Hmm….let me see, A blink! It comes and goes and you
don’t know it ever happened. A blink is the fastest thing
I know of.”"Excellent!” said the interviewer. “The blink
of an eye. That’s a very popular cliche for speed.”

Then he turned to the third man who was contemplating his
reply.”Well, out at my dad’s ranch, you step out of the
house and on the wall there’s a light switch, when you flip
that switch, way out across the pasture the light at the
barn comes on in an instant. Turning on a light
is the fastest thing I can think of.”

The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer
and thought he had found his man. “It’s hard to beat the
speed of light” he said. Turning to the fourth man, he
posed the question.”After hearing the three previous
answers, it’s obvious to me that the fastest thing known
is diarrhea.”

“WHAT!?” said the interviewer, stunned by the response.
“Oh I can explain.” said the fourth man. “You see the other
day I wasn’t feeling so well and ran for the bathroom. But,
before I could think, blink or turn on the light, I’d shit
my pants!”