From: Trojan Condoms Co.
RE: Male Model

Dear Mr. Smith,

We regret to inform you that your application to model Trojan Condoms has
been rejected. Although your general physical appearance is not
displeasing, our board of directors feels that you do not achieve the
positive romantic image we are seeking for our product. A loose, baggy and
wrinkled contraception does not promote a romantic image.
Your ingenious use of “polygrip” is admirable, but unfortunately, even
that did not result in securing our product in place long enough for
photographs to be taken.
Your interest in Trojan Condoms is appreciated, and we will retain your
application on file in case the market for the “micro-mini” contraceptions
ever shows the potential for developing. Along with our thanks to you, we
send your wife our deepest sympathy.

Yours Truly,
Peter Skinner
Director of Marketing