You know you’re a redneck if your wife’s hairdo has ever
been ruined by a ceiling fan.

You know you’re a redneck if both your dog and your wallet
are on a chain.

You know you’re a redneck if your house doesn’t have curtains
but your pickup does.

You know you’re a redneck if your car window is a Hefty bag.

You know you’re a redneck if Red Man chewing tobacco sent you
a Christmas card.

You know you’re a redneck if your family tree does not fork.

You know you’re a redneck if the primary color of your car is
‘bondo’.

You know you’re a redneck if you have a rag as a gas-cap.

You know you’re a redneck if in your wedding picture, you had
a toothpick in your mouth.

You know you’re a redneck if you consider a six-pack and a
bug-zapper quality entertainment.

You know you’re a redneck if your belt buckle is bigger than
your wife’s head.

You know you’re a redneck if directions to your house include:
and then you turn off the paved road…

You know you’re a redneck if going to the bathroom at night
involves putting on your shoes and carrying a flashlight.

You know you’re a redneck if people ask to hunt in your front
 yard.

You know you’re a redneck if your most successful pick-up line is,
“Hey Baby, nice tooth!”

You know you’re a redneck if your daughter gets married and all
the wedding guests sit on the same side of the church.