There was a cucumber, a pickle, and a penis sitting around talking
about how their lives sucked. The cucumber “Man, my life sucks. When I get
big, fat, and juicy, they cut me up and stick me on a salad.” The pickle
looks at him and says, “You think you have it bad? When I get big, fat,
and juicy, they stick me in vinegar, put spices on me, and stick me in a
jar.”  The penis looks at him and says, “You think you have it rough? When
I get big, fat, and juicy, they stick a rubber tarp on my head, stick me
in a dark room, and bang my head against the wall until I throw up and
pass out!