One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Jim says to Mike
behind him, my elbow hurts. I guess I better see a doctor. “Listen, you
don’t have to spend that kind of money,” Mike replies. “There’s a
diagnostic computer at the drugstore at the corner. Just give it a urine
sample and it will tell you what’s wrong and what to do about it. It takes
ten seconds and costs ten dollars…a lot cheaper than a doctor.” So Jim
deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to the drugstore. He
deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the
urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds
later, the computer ejects a printout: “You have tennis elbow. Soak your
arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks.
That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Jim
began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water,
a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and
masturbated into the mixture for good measure. Jim hurries back to the
drugstore, eager to check the results. He deposits ten dollars, pours
in his concoction, and awaits the results.
The computer prints the following:
1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant…twin girls. They aren’t yours. Get a lawyer.
5. If you don’t stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better